Q: What do you get when you cross Mrs. Doubtfire with Forrest Gump?
A: Forrest Fire
Did you hear about the blonde terrorist who tried to tried to blow up a car? She burned her lips on the exhaust pipe!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road in Russia?
A: In Russia, road crosses chicken.
Q: How do you know if a joke is funny?
A: If you get banned from social media for telling it.
Q: Why hasn't Michael Moore won a second Oscar since FAHRENHEIT 9/11?
A: He tried to eat his first one because he thought it was chocolate wrapped in foil.
Q: How many psychedelic cacti do you have to eat to fully achieve ego death?
Q: What kind of bush grows in Texas?
A: George W. Bush